The lyrics speak for themselves:. And the lyrics are simply sweet:. It's the type of narrative that makes you wish, hope, and pray that someone will someday feel even a fraction of the emotions communicated in this song. Because that would be awesome. There are all types of love.
Eh, let it go. But know that everyone experiences this type of terrible, gut-wrenching, one-sided love, at least once. This is your anthem. Plus, the chorus is an undeniable classic:. This song will make you want to ride a tandem bicycle with an adorable person on your way to a perfectly executed picnic on a spring day.
6 songs that seem romantic but aren't, and one that seems like it isn't but is.
The lyrics are pretty straightforward:. Honestly, this song is way better than that one James Blunt was famous for a few years ago. The lyrics are even poetic:. The only way to listen to this song is to imagine yourself in some dive bar with a bearded fella, drinking whiskey-lemonades and making out near the ironic Big Buck Hunter game.
Say Anything understands with words like these:.
Listen to HALFNOISE’s heartbreaking “All That Love Is”
But this song is adorable see lyrics below , so, it gets a pass. Sam Smith has the voice of an angel. The best part of love is the moment it starts. These lyrics capture exactly that:. Love makes us do some pretty wild things. And it is. Because it's not an equally loving ,or even equally lusty, pairing at all.
Listen to HALFNOISE’s heartbreaking “All That Love Is” | The FADER
Good at recognizing no-win situations and delicious with lemon?! For a while, things are humming along just fine, like any wholesome, illicit, anonymous affair should:. Sure, many of us might hesitate to pick up a strange leather-jacket-clad man standing on the side of the road for a no-strings-attached screw, but our narrator just has a feeling about this guy, and sometimes, you gotta go with your gut. But then, without warning, the song starts to sound less like an all-time great romance and more like a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape around a campfire:.
I'm not a poet. Symbolic language often eludes me. But unless "flower," "seed," "garden," and "tree," suddenly mean wildly different things in the context of human reproduction than they have since sex was first invented in the earlys, we're talking about a surprise, non-mutually-consensual pregnancy!
Of course, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc. You might be tempted to think, "Maybe Heart meant something else by that. One: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York City subway ad from nine years ago:. Photo by eyedonation. Cool, so this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked not one but two lives.
The best you can say about that is that it's not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket man probably should have been responsible for his own birth control. Or, at the very least, asked more questions. It's not romantic even the Wilson sisters themselves agree. And at the end of the day, the shadiest character in this song is somehow not the rain-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the night. You know, that guy? That guy! As catchy as "Candy Shop" is, as fun it is to dance to, and as cathartic as it can be to scream in the middle of a crowded fraternity house at 2 a.
The lyrics are The beat is kinda basic. The hook is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily by in "Homeland. It doesn't get played much anymore. When it does resurface, it feels It's not a song you'd put on a mixtape for your crush. It's not a song you'd play for your spouse when the kids are at home with the babysitter and you've got nine hours to tear up the Piscataway Hampton Inn.
It's certainly not a song you'd include on the video photo montage you made for your grandparents' silver anniversary. You wanna back that thing up or should I push up on it?
The bass drum hits. The MIDI violins whine. The singer starts filling out his fellatio permission slip. It's only been 20 seconds, and you're already getting ready to hang it up with "Candy Shop. But then Go, cunnilingus doves, go! Rather than simply imposing his desires on the person he's with — a la the dude in "God Only Knows "I'm going to invest my entire sense of self-worth in you! But here's the key thing : the lady on the receiving end of those desires?
She's clearly into it. And we know this because she says so. The lines of consent in "Candy Shop" are bright red, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly sticky club floor. Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is outside trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer. No matter how nasty they freak, it will be intimate.
It will be private. There will be no revenge porn the epilogue to " Blurred Lines ," to wit, would definitely be a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit. Sexual compatibility is key to the survival of any relationship, whether years, weeks, or very possibly in the case of "Candy Shop" minutes long. She may have a high sex drive, but dude is graciously offering to accommodate her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids just might go the distance after all.
And at the end of the day, what is a relationship but two nymphos, sharing health insurance? Thanks, Obamacare! The "Candy Shop" guy is a keeper. Because he's not a hero or a stranger in the night or a funky, shimmering love god. He's a good partner. But when you strip away the swagger, the back beat, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Middle Eastern Music ," by the end of the song, both people are satisfied.
And at the end of the day, isn't that what a healthy relationship is all about? Stores like Target are no longer are afraid of hiring models that aren't a size zero. Sports Illustrated has been featuring plus-size models in its Swimsuit issue, and social media is full of women spreading the message of body positivity while sharing photos of their beautiful bodies as well.
Sure there are a few guys out there fighting back against male beauty standards, but there aren't many who are encouraging body positivity in women. That's why an open letter by Robbie Tripp to his wife Sarah Tripp is so important. Sarah is the voice behind Sassy Red Lipstick, a beauty blog that's shows larger women how to love themselves and to do so with style.
Today in "this cannot possibly be happening": Donald Trump said in a speech that the U. Army won the Revolutionary War by "taking over the airports. I know what you're thinking: there's no way he could make such an egregious error, especially not during his costly Fourth of July Bugs Bunny dictator parade.
The quote has to be taken out of context. Here it is:. Plus, there's a subtle sense of petty joy that comes with being able to willfully leave a workplace where other people are stuck slaving away. Especially if the new gig pays better. Sam Baines, a year-old who worked at a call center in Sheffield, England found a clever way to tell his boss he was leaving.
The card was shared on Twitter by his his soon-to-be former coworker Hannah, where it has earned over , likes and 76, retweets. Baines had to quit his job because he's returning to his university in September. Hannah says that everyone in the office took the joke well. According to his coworkers it appears as though Baines will definitely be missed at the job and his going away joke was so funny it's doubtful that he'll soon be forgotten. I vanka Trump kicked off her presidential campaign by pretending to be a world leader, hopping into photo ops with heads of state and trying her damnedest to contribute to the conversation.
The now-iconic Unwanted Ivanka meme was born. Donald Trump Jr. Eric Trump, who Saturday Night Live portrays as "the dumb one" in a family of dumb ones, tweeted an attempted burn at former President Barack Obama that ended up just being a massive self-own. Follow Us. Stories Worth Sharing. Explore more. For People Who Give a Damn.
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Here's why it sounds romantic: I may not always love you But long as there are stars above you You never need to doubt it I'll make you so sure about it God only knows what I'd be without you If you're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and not playing "God Only Knows" on your iPod, you should really stop and start over.
What could be wrong with that? Here's why it's actually really, really unromantic: There's nothing wrong with loving someone. But there is such a thing as loving someone a skosh too much. If you should ever leave me Though life would still go on believe me The world could show nothing to me So what good would living do me? Look, I get it. Breakups suck. There's no getting around that. But good God. Which makes this line God only knows what I'd be without you Because the answer, apparently, is: "I'd be a corpse!
We had a good run. Photo via iStock. No wonder she took that job in Seattle. Here's why the song sounds romantic: Treasure, that is what you are Honey, you're my golden star You know you can make my wish come true If you let me treasure you If you let me treasure you Pass those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-grade make-out party and you'll likely get an instant toll pass on the highway to tongue-town ew. And I'm OK with that. But, here's why "Treasure" isn't as romantic as it seems: Everything about "Treasure" is retro. Including its attitudes about gender.
Things start to go south right from the very beginning: Give me your, give me your, give me your attention, baby I gotta tell you a little something about yourself Ah yes. Spoiler Alert: It's none of those. You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you're a sexy lady But you walk around here like you wanna be someone else Oh.
It's that she's sexy. Cool, bro. Very original. And then later, of course, the narrator can't help himself: Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl, you should be smiling A girl like you should never look so blue. An object. Which is fitting. I suppose it could be worse, though. At least she's not just any thing. Here's why it sounds romantic: Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe Even you don't know by now And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe It'll never do somehow When your rooster crows at the break of dawn Look out your window, and I'll be gone You're the reason I'm a-traveling on But don't think twice, it's all right.
Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits situation like whoa. Here's why it's actually sooooo messed up: Relationships end. In "Don't Think Twice," that discussion basically boils down to: "It's your fault. You could have done better, but I don't mind Yes. You do mind! You mind! You wrote a song about it, you passive-aggressive prick. You just kinda wasted my precious time Ah yes. No one's under 13, right? Oh yeah, and the song's narrator also point-blank refers woman he's leaving as: A child, I'm told That's right. Which, I suppose, may be the point.
Here's why it sounds romantic: "Leaving on a Jet Plane" is a lovely song. Oh babe, I hate to go You see — he hates to go! Why indeed? Here's why it's actually not that romantic at all: All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the world can only distract so much from the fact that the song's main character is well, kind of a jerkweed. Then he demands: So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you'll wait for me After all the betrayal and heartbreak, after basically revealing himself to be a grade-A sleaze who can't be trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to wait?
And here's the kicker: When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring Ah yes. He'll put a ring on it. But yeah. This time he says he'll bring back a wedding ring. I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks back. Specifically, it plays you the very first line. Here's why it sound very romantic: When a man loves a woman Sure, you can write the lyrics down, but it doesn't even come close to capturing the heartache. Sing it, Percy Sledge! It's an elemental lyric. It's a heart-shattering lyric. It's a lyric that demands you put your back into it. It's perfection. As long as you don't keep listening.
Here's why the song is actually pretty horrifying: From the opening lines of "When a Man Loves a Woman," we know that, at least on occasion, a man loves a woman. Which raises the question: What happens when said man loves said woman? He'd give up all his comforts And sleep out in the rain If she said that's the way It ought to be. Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down. I gave you everything I have Tryin' to hold on to your heartless love Baby, please don't treat me bad.
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And that's not healthy. Run, Percy Sledge, run! We're here for you. So much passion. So much pain. So much hair.
Here's why it sounds romantic: Over pounding drums and a soaring melody, Heart sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a primal tribute to the one true romantic fantasy shared by every living being on Earth: picking up an unnervingly attractive man for one night of mind-blowing sex and then releasing him back into the wild to bone — but never quite as compellingly ever again.
They sing: It was a rainy night when he came into sight Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat So I pulled up alongside and I offered him a ride He accepted with a smile so we drove for a while I don't have to go on because you know what happens next, and it's awesome. Now, here's why this song is not romantic at all: The relationship in "All I Wanna Do" seems too good to be true. It's a You know what it is: Good at recognizing no-win situations and delicious with lemon?!
For a while, things are humming along just fine, like any wholesome, illicit, anonymous affair should: I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain Fate, tell me it's right, is this love at first sight? I can respect that. We made magic that night He did everything right Great!
Seems like it was a good decision. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off big time. But then, without warning, the song starts to sound less like an all-time great romance and more like a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape around a campfire: I told him "I am the flower, you are the seed We walked in the garden, we planted a tree Don't try to find me, please don't you dare Just live in my memory, you'll always be there" I'm not a poet.
One: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York City subway ad from nine years ago: Photo by eyedonation. Or two: She totally conned a dude into whipping up a baby on the sly. I said, "Please, please understand Ah, sure. No worries. I'm in love with another man Cool, so this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked not one but two lives.
But there is a love song that is truly, madly, deeply perfect. An unassailable track in a sea of problematic faves. A song that does everything right. A song that paints a portrait of a healthy partnership built to last. A song that can double as a manual for the ideal human romantic relationship. And that song is At first glance, "Candy Shop" is nobody's idea of a classic love song. GIF from "Homeland.
It's just not. But it should be. So here it is. Here's why "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia, is actually the perfect relationship song: You wanna back that thing up or should I push up on it? She sings: I'll take you to the candy shop yeah Boy, one taste of what I got uh-huh I'll have you spendin' all you got come on Keep going 'til you hit the spot, whoa It's mutual! It's mutual! They're performing oral sex on each other! Ring the bells! Bang the drums! Release the doves! But the narrator of "Candy Shop"? He gets it: You could have it your way, how do you want it? Which, in the world of popular music, is good for about 50, trillion points.
And where are they going to do it? The hotel? Back of the rental? The beach? The park? It's whatever you're into 'Cause consent is sexy! I ain't finished teaching you 'bout how sprung I got ya The narrator of "Candy Shop" is certainly Girl what we do And where we do The things we do Are just between me and you No matter how nasty they freak, it will be intimate.
If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho Sexual compatibility is key to the survival of any relationship, whether years, weeks, or very possibly in the case of "Candy Shop" minutes long. It's like it's a race who could get undressed quicker Again, everybody is having a great time.